I was thinking about taking the class because I had to make the decision within a couple of days. I finally agreed to taking the class even though I was really nervous about having to take a test about firearms. I figured (hoped) that something would come up and we wouldn't end up taking the class. After it was finalized that we were taking the class and we paid our deposits, I thought I would have another out...I needed to find someone to cover me for the class on Saturday. It would be a 12 hour course starting Friday evening and continuing all day Saturday (from 9:00am-8:30ish pm). Well, as I'm sure you can guess, I found someone to work for me. There was no way out of it!
I was scared. Really scared. I was having nightmares every night leading up to the class. Someone would attack me and I'd pull out a gun. The gun wouldn't work. Someone broke into my parents house and were hurting my Mom and I'd pull out a gun. I missed the bad guy and shot my Mom. These were REALLY upsetting dreams. By the time Friday rolled around, I was a nervous wreck. What if I didn't pass the test? What if I couldn't hit the target when I had to do my shooting at the range? What if a giant cockroach scared me and I accidentally fired a gun in a bad direction, putting others in danger? Yiiiikkkkeeesssss...
When I arrived at the place where we were to take the class, I realized that I would be taking it with other people...STRANGERS. I had thought that the class was going to be only for my Mom, Aunt, and me. I was wrong. Before the class even started, my anxiety levels began to rise even higher. I was going to have to shoot a gun in front of strangers?!?
Friday went pretty smoothly though. There wasn't any shooting and no test, other than a pretest which I failed miserably. I really did learn a lot. We went through important information on the safe handling of firearms. We also learned about different types of revolvers and semi-automatic pistols. The material was really interesting. Okay. I can handle this. We also practiced loading and unloading a revolver and a semi-automatic pistol. I did this over and over again because I wanted to make sure that I was comfortable with the motions. We also learned about misfiring--or when you pull the trigger and the bullet doesn't leave the muzzle. We learned that if this happened, we had to wait at least 30s. before unloading the gun and checking to see if the bullet was stuck in the chamber of the gun. If you don't wait, the gun can still fire. If you're not paying attention and you look down the barrel or point the gun in an unsafe direction, you can end up shooting yourself or somebody else.
I was nervous about getting a misfire on the shooting range the next day. Would I remember what to do? Would I end up shooting my face off? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was scared all over again. Plus, we had to take the written exam the next day as well.
Friday night was a repeat of the nightmares that I had been experiencing all week. After barely any sleep, I had to get up and layer on warm clothes. After all, I would be shooting a gun later that day in the freezing cold! I was afraid my finger would freeze onto the trigger!
Our class was divided into two groups. The first group would go onto the range to fire the required rounds while the second group took the written test. My Mom, Aunt, and I were in the second group so we got ready to take the exam. It was open book, so it wasn't difficult. I passed it 100%. My Aunt missed one question and my perfectionist Mom missed two (I rubbed it in).
Then we found out that the other group was returning from the range, and that we would be going to do our two hours of range time in a few minutes. The anxiety swept over me all over again. I was cold even in the testing building but I could feel my palms starting to sweat. We drove to the range. It was a complete mud hole. I found out that my partner would be shooting first, and I would be loading his magazines for him. My mother would also shoot while my Aunt loaded for her. Okay. I can do this. I'll just watch him shoot and everything should be okay, right? BANG!!!! BANG!!!
I think I almost peed myself as he fired the first couple of rounds. We were wearing proper eye and ear protection but the shots still startled me. What if I jump while I'm shooting and miss the target? I've come this far...I can't chicken out now. I have to do this for myself. I'm strong. I'm strong. I'm strong.
My partner raced through his 100 rounds and hit the bulls-eye over and over again with razor-like precision. He already knew what he was doing--he just had to take the class so he could apply. He didn't really need to--he already knew a lot about guns. He even brought his own semi-automatic and his own ammunition.
Before I knew it, it was my turn to shoot and my partner's turn to load for me. I was so nervous. I waited for the go-ahead to fire, loaded my magazine, released the chamber slide, and took aim.
I can do it. I can do it. Just pull the trigger. Remember what you learned: Breathe in, breathe half way out, hold the breath, fire, and breathe out the rest of the way. Breath, pause, fire, release. Breathe, pause, fire, release.
I looked down my front sight and made sure the front sight was properly lined up with the bulls-eye, and that the rear sights were properly lined up on either side of the front sight. I took a breath, held my breath for like 20 seconds, and then finally got up the nerve to pull the trigger.
BANG!
Holy crap, I did it! Hmmm...okay...I can do this again. It's not so bad.
My partner loaded up another magazine for me, this time with two cartridges. Every new magazine held a larger number of cartridges. I had to create "groupings" on the target. This means, my bullets had to hit in the same area on the targets. Of course, ideally, you hit the bulls-eye, but to pass the shooting portion of the class you have to make sure you have bundles within the target within the 9inch paper plate.
After firing off a few magazines, I began to have more fun. I realized that my bullets were consistently hitting very close to the bulls-eye, and a few even landed right in the middle! We were shooting from a bench, so it was easier to keep my aim because my hands were more steady. I supported the .22 on makeshift cushions, so I wasn't holding up the weight of the gun as much as I would have if I were standing and shooting.
This is kinda fun! Hmm... Bang! Bang! Awesome! I hit the bulls-eye again!
It didn't take long for me to pass that part of the test. Next, I had to aim at a new target and practice rapid fire. I had five cartridges in the magazine.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Oh. My. Gosh. That. was. so. much. FUN!!! Ohhhh, I wanna do it again!
I was pretty good at the rapid fire as well. This was important because if I ever need to defend myself, I won't have time to pause between shots--I need to be able to keep aim in between quickly fired rounds. There was a whole magazine that ended up hitting the plate too high. I was upset with myself, but the instructor had my partner check the rear sights because she said they tend to loosed up. She was right--the sights needed tightened down. That explained why a whole magazine of bullets ended up hitting the target too high even though I was aiming at the bulls-eye. After the sights were tightened back up, my bullets were hitting in the middle of the plate once more. I passed the rapid fire portion of the test as well. So, with my remaining rounds, I was allowed to do whatever I wanted. I decided to practice shooting standing up with a two-handed grip. This would be more like the shooting I would probably have to do if I were attacked.
The two-handed grip is more steady than a one-handed grip. However, the two-handed grip standing up was less steady than having the pillow to support the gun from a sitting position at the bench. It was cold, and the gun's weight was resting in my hands. While I did hit the target fairly well, my aim wasn't as good as when I had been sitting because my hands weren't as steady. It was cold, and my hands were shaking! I still had fun though, and like my partner said, "If I were an attacker and you were shooting at my chest, they all would have hit me and I'd be dead". I was angry at myself for not doing as well, but he did have a point.
Needless to say, I did pass the class. I haven't actually applied for my permit yet, but I'm sure it will go through when I do. The next step for me is to find out how high of a caliber pistol I can handle. The higher the caliber, the more the gun will kick, and the more the gun kicks, the harder it is to keep a good aim. For defensive purposes, a person wants to carry the heaviest gun with the highest caliber that they can. Heavier guns kick less because they absorb the momentum caused by the firing of the cartridge/bullet. So, I need to find the highest caliber gun that I can handle...and I don't want it to be too light so that it doesn't kick so hard. However, I do need it to be relatively small so that it can be easily concealed.
This weekend, I might be going to a gun show. I'm hoping to get a better idea of the type of gun that I want to buy. I think that I would prefer a semi-automatic over a revolver, but my father thinks that a revolver would be better because they are less likely to miss-fire. My argument is that it would take a longer time to reload a revolver than it would take to have a semi-automatic and carry an extra magazine with me. We'll see what happens!
By taking the CCW class, I not only overcame my nervousness, but I have also prepared myself to be able to protect myself better. I have also found a new hobby, I think--shooting guns at a target is really fun and it's a good way to relieve stress in a way that won't hurt anybody else. No one will have to listen to me yelling if I go to the range and take my anger out on a target! :-P Aiming at a target takes concentration and skill--so it can be very rewarding to hit the bulls-eye!
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